Funny story...
My homeboy and I were drunk at a bar, and decided to go to another bar afterward. At this second bar, he got involved in a conversation with two guys. I was completely uninterested in what they were talking about until the very end as we were leaving. One of the two guy said, "I don't like my hands. Look at them! I like my friend's hands though(A white guy). Ugh, I hate my hands. I have ethnic hands." It instantly got my liquored up blood boiling. I ask,"What the hell are ethnic hands?" He responds, while holding up his hands that "his knuckles were large." I told him that race had NOTHING to do that. I'm sure at this point in time my homeboy is realizing that this isn't a good conversation for me to be in, and he gently, but forcefully makes me leave.
It has been weeks, and I'm still bothered by this. Mostly because for me, I have a very specific childhood memory that continues to plague me that came to mind. When I was younger, my sister and I generally got the same dolls, but I always wanted the white doll, even though they were the same doll, made of the same material. Somehow, the color of the doll made it seem better. In that same way, that guy saw his own hands as inferior. He was pointing out normal physical characteristics of hands that he hated.
Sometimes society makes it hard to see similarities in humans. A lot times we are searching to find what's different. Perhaps, a good starting point is searching to find ourselves so that we can appreciate ourselves...everything about ourselves first.
I'm pretty curious as to what "ethnic hands" are as well. When that guy finds a logical explaination, please let me know.
ReplyDeleteAs for you prefering the white dolls over any other dolls, that is actually a common behavior that little black girls portray. There was a study in the 1950's where the sociologist or whatever had the black children pick which doll was the "good doll" and which doll was the "bad doll." All of the pariticipants stated that black doll was bad, simply because it was black. I think the media and the way that we are raised plays a huge part in this. The media portrays light-skinned women as beautiful and dark-skinned women as the undesirables. At home, we are taught wha "good hair" and "bad hair" is. Although these comments may be intended to be harmless, statements like this can go a long way, and that is probably what the bar guy was meaning, although he probably didn't analyze it as such at that particular time. Non-chalant statements like that stem from a long history of pain, in my opinion...